The Diary of a Wannabe Rock Star Part 1

Introduction

When I lie in my rather uncomfortable, squeaky bed at night I often drift off and try to imagine just what it would be like to be a rock star. The fame, the adulation, the money, the flash cars (I can't actually drive, but that's not the point is it?) and the five star hotels. All of that sounds like sheer perfection to me. In theory, it doesn't sound that difficult to achieve. Record some demo's, send them off, sign a deal, record the album and count the cash. If only it was that simple.

Making it in the music industry for probably 99% of the population is nigh on impossible so it was with that rather sobering notion that I decided to stop lying back in my crappy bed dreaming about it but to actually try and do something about it. I already had most of the lyrics written so I wasn't going to let a small thing such as not being able to play an instrument stop me. All I needed was a microphone and a music program to create my songs and unleash my genius onto the unsuspecting world. I invested in Acoustica Mixcraft and on the same day of purchase I was already up and running. Within a matter of weeks I set up a myspace music account and banged my spanking new tunes onto the wild world that is known to some as cyberspace.

To cut to the chase, within months of being online I had a solid base of friends and a record company interested in one of my songs. I thought to myself "God, this music thing is a piece of piss!". My thinking was that if things carry on at this speed then it's only a matter of time before I'm falling out the back of a stretch limo at the Grammy's.

When my friends found out what I was doing, to say that they took the piss would possibly be the biggest understatement in rock 'n' roll history. To the time of writing this I regularly get people coming up to me and asking how the music business is going before sniggering into their pints. I laugh along too, afterall, what kind of dick would I be if I took myself seriously?

Part One

As I type this I am sitting at work. It is 7 0'clock in the evening and I have done pretty much all of my duties. For those of you reading this who don't know me (which is probably most of you) I work as a sports hall manager at the biggest school in Warwickshire, Nicholas Chamberlaine. Impressive huh? Well, no not really. It would be impressive if the hours weren't twenty two a week and in the evening. To supplement my income I also trudge the streets delivering leaflets for some roofing company. This has got to be one of the lowest jobs going but at least I can wander the streets thinking of new lyrics (most of which I have forgotten by the time I get home). To say I'm in a bit of a rut is yet another understatement. My love life is fine, I have been going steady with someone for nearly two years now. However, I am nearly 26 years old and I still live with my parents. Mind you, for £100 per month I get all of my meals, washing and just about everything else done for me. Yes, I am a lazy sod in every sense of the word. The town I live in has been described as 'a hole' and it would be quite hard to disagree. All there is to do in Bedworth (time to get your maps out folks!) is drink and eat curries. I am pretty fond of both.  Many songs I have written are about where I live and the people I know so I suppose I have Bedworth to thank for the inspiration!

As you are well aware it is February 2008. The weather is freezing, it never seems to stop raining and everyone is still hungover from Christmas. Everyone at this stage is booking their summer holidays or escaping to grab some winter sun in Mexico or somewhere. Not me. I am spilling my guts out onto this page. Why? You may ask. Well, I thought, now tell me if it's a stupid idea, wouldn't it be kind of cool if I could chase my musical dream with some people I'm never likely to meet, but who, by the end of this turbulant journey, will feel as though they know me. Sounds pretentious I know, but isn't pretentiousness part and parcel with rock 'n' roll? Rick Wakeman on ice anyone? My thinking is that personally I'd love to be a part of someone elses' story so their must be a few people out there who'd love to be a part of mine. Again, I may be way off the mark.

So with the explainations and the life history out of the way, let's crack on. 2008 thus far has been very quiet on the musical front. I began the year full of optimism. I thought to myself "Right, let's move this baby forward. Let's get a band and get on the road". Easier said than done. The trouble is, when you come form a working class area like mine, everyone is seriously into music is into indie, hell I'm into indie big style. But musically, that isn't my style. My main musical passion is the music of Bruce Springsteen. That's as faraway from indie that you're going to get. So to actually find like-minded individuals to work with thus far has been difficult to say the least. Back in January I joined a couple of websites that allow you to search for musicians. There are loads in the local area but everyone I got in touch with seemed enthusiastic at first but then I never heard from them. Maybe I should be more proactive and try and push it more. Maybe I just seem too desperate. I have even sent bulletins out on myspace but, surprise, surprise, nothing back. Zilch. I realise that if I don't do any gigs soon I will sink without a trace. All that will be left of my 'career' will be that one song that appeared on a compilation album. Someone, I can't recall who, told me that I should audition for the X Factor. I laughed so hard I nearly pissed my pants. Could you imagine what Simon Cowell Cowell would say after hearing my slightly (ok, very) out of tune warblings?

So, to confirm, if you think it's easy to form a band, you are very wrong indeed. Going back to the X Factor thing, even if I had the voice of an angel I wouldn't resort as low as that. Yes, I want the fame and adulation but I am not prepared to sell my soul to the devil (Simon Cowell) to achieve this. Having said that, I'd perhaps go on the show and give my unique version of Vanilla Ice's 'Ice Ice Baby'. Anyone who drinks arounf Bedworth will know exactly what I mean!